KNOW: See Me. Know Me. Include Me.
Know • Grow • Serve
Every person has a place at the table. Not just a seat. A voice. A relationship. A purpose. An opportunity to serve. When we talk about disability ministry, we often measure inclusion by whether someone is present. Did they come to church? Did they attend the program? Did we provide a sensory room? Did we make accommodations? Those things matter.
But what if inclusion is about more than getting someone in the room?
What if the goal isn't simply to give someone a seat at the table—but to make room for them to help set the table? That is the heart behind A Seat at the Table: Know • Grow • Serve.
“But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose... The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you.’”
— 1 Corinthians 12:18, 21–22
Paul's words remind us that the body of Christ was designed with every member in mind. No one is unnecessary. No one is an extra. No one is simply taking up space.
We need one another. That changes how we think about disability ministry.
KNOW: See Me. Know Me. Include Me.
Inclusion begins with relationship. Too often, we see someone's disability before we see the person. We notice the wheelchair. The communication device. The sensory needs. The unusual behavior. The caregiver. The diagnosis. But God sees something different.
He sees a person created in His image.
“So God created man in his own image...”
— Genesis 1:27
Disability is something a person experiences. It is not the sum of who they are. So instead of beginning with:
“What's wrong with you?”
We begin with:
“Who are you?”
What do you enjoy?
What makes you laugh?
What are you good at?
What are you interested in?
What is your story?
What do you want me to know about you?
More Than a Label
Think about how often we are known by one characteristic.
The athlete. The pastor. The teacher. The funny one. The shy one. The musician. Would you want someone to know you only by one label? Of course not. And neither does the person with a disability. We need to be careful not to allow a diagnosis to become someone's identity in our eyes. Sometimes knowing someone means challenging the assumptions we have made about them. Do we talk to the caregiver instead of the person? Do we assume someone can't understand because they communicate differently? Do we assume someone doesn't want friends? Do we interpret a behavior as defiance without asking what is underneath it? Do we focus on what someone cannot do instead of discovering what they can do?
The Golden Rule of Knowing
Don't assume. Ask.
Instead of:
“He doesn't talk, so he probably doesn't understand.”
Ask:
“How does he communicate?”
Instead of:
“She doesn't want to participate.”
Ask:
“What might help her participate?”
Instead of:
“He can't do that.”
Ask:
“How can we help him do that?”
Knowing someone changes everything. Because when we know someone's story, we are much less likely to make assumptions about their future.
GROW: We Grow Better Together
Knowing someone is just the beginning. The next step is growing together. Discipleship isn't something we simply do for people with disabilities. It is something we do with them. A person with a disability needs friendship. They need discipleship. They need worship. They need prayer. They need encouragement. They need correction. They need opportunities to learn. They need opportunities to lead.
Just like everyone else.
Paul writes:
“For just as the body is one and has many members...”
— 1 Corinthians 12:12
The church isn't:
“Us helping them.”
The church is:
“We are the body.”
That means we need to move from doing ministry TO people to doing ministry WITH people.
From “TO” to “WITH”
TO: “We made a special class for them.”
WITH: “We found a way for everyone to learn together.”
TO: “We gave them a special activity.”
WITH: “They participated in the same activity with the support they needed.”
TO: “We let them attend.”
WITH: “We helped them belong.”
TO: “We did something for them.”
WITH: “We asked what they could contribute.”
That small word—with—can completely change the way we approach ministry.
Because belonging isn't simply being invited into the room.
Belonging means knowing that your presence matters.
Who Belongs at the Table?
Imagine a table with several empty chairs. Ask: Who belongs at this table? The answer seems obvious. Then ask: Who might be missing? Now ask the harder question: What would it look like if we didn't simply invite them to sit at the table—but actually gave them a role at the table?
Maybe they could greet someone. Set the table. Pass something out. Pray. Read Scripture. Help a younger child. Serve food. Lead worship. Share their testimony. Welcome someone else. There are countless possibilities. The question isn't always, “What can they do?” Sometimes the better question is: “What opportunity have we not yet given them?”
SERVE: I Have Something to Give
This is where A Seat at the Table becomes more than a philosophy. It becomes a calling. Every person has something to contribute to the body of Christ. Not everyone serves the same way. But everyone can serve.
Paul says:
“The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you.’”
— 1 Corinthians 12:21
And 1 Peter 4:10 reminds us:
“As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another...”
Notice the language. As each has received a gift. Not some. Not the people who are most talented. Not the people who can serve independently. Each. So perhaps we need to change the question. Instead of asking: “What can we do for them?” Ask: “What has God placed in them?” And then ask: “How can we create opportunities for them to use it?” Service may look different for different people. Someone may serve by greeting. Someone may serve by praying. Someone may serve by singing. Someone may serve by encouraging. Someone may serve by helping. Someone may serve by setting up. Someone may serve by cleaning. Someone may serve by creating. Someone may serve by reading. Someone may serve by sharing. Someone may serve by mentoring. Someone may serve simply by sitting beside someone who is lonely. Service isn't measured by how impressive the task looks. It's measured by our willingness to use what God has given us.
From Present to Needed
One of the biggest mistakes we can make in inclusion is stopping too soon. We celebrate when someone finally comes through the doors. And we should celebrate. But what happens next? There are at least four levels of inclusion:
1. PRESENT
They're in the room. “We allow them to attend.”
2. PARTICIPATING
They're involved. “We find ways for them to participate.”
3. BELONGING
They're known. “They have relationships and friendships.”
4. CONTRIBUTING
They're needed. “They use their gifts and serve others.” The goal isn't merely: “How do we get them in the room?” The goal is: “How do we help them know they belong, grow in Christ, and discover that they are needed?” That is the difference between attendance and belonging. That is the difference between accommodation and relationship. That is the difference between being served and being a servant.
The Table Test
Take a moment and look at your church, your ministry, your classroom, or your small group. Ask yourself:
Who is sitting at our table?
Who isn't sitting at our table?
Who is sitting at the table but isn't really being included?
Who has something to contribute but hasn't been given an opportunity?
What can we change this week?
These questions aren't meant to make us feel guilty. They're meant to help us see. Sometimes the people we are praying for will come through the door and already be there. We just haven't figured out how to make room for them yet.
Know me.
Grow with me.
Serve with me.
